Hazel McHaffie

On the receiving end

Hmmm. And I thought I was clued in to other people’s viewpoints and pretty empathetic. After all, I’ve spend years actively listening and trying to understand how they tick, in my professional as well as personal life. Shame on me. But … hey ho, I guess one is never too old to learn.

It’s fifty plus years since I began my working days in the NHS, and here I am in 2017 still following medical advances and thinking about modern challenges all these decades later. But lately I’ve been seeing things from a very different perspective; my eyes have been opened to a different kind of reality.

In June I was diagnosed with a malignant tumour. It was surgically removed within 24 hours, but last week I was back in hospital again for second-stage surgery. My care throughout has been exemplary – efficiency, kindness, courtesy, skill, compassion, they all seem to be drip-fed at all levels.  Goodness, I even had a reply from the Medical Director thanking me for my letter of appreciation! Way beyond the call of duty.

But one practice in particular has struck me forcibly. in ‘my day’ the medical team told patients what was in their best interests; today recipients of care are consulted and encouraged to share the decision making. My dentist takes this approach and, knowing nothing whatever about dentistry, I confess I struggle with the responsibility sometimes. I want to say, ‘I don’t know – you tell me!’ When it comes to my physical health I’m a lot more confident; my background and knowledge stand me in good stead. But I do wonder if all this choice and shared decision-making isn’t rather bewildering for the average ordinary Joe Bloggs. How do they know what’s best? Have they ever thought about mortality/morbidity statistics, or quality of life issues, or palliative versus aggressive care?

My novels are designed to help people get inside the skin of those faced with extremely difficult challenges, to increase empathy and understanding, to help formulate sound reasoning. But maybe there’s a case for exploring the more mundane and less dramatic/harrowing situations which people are facing every day. It has taken my own brush with cancer to open my eyes to the impact of this common reality. Just shows you.

Report card reads: Could do better.

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2 Responses to “On the receiving end”

  • Helena Melbourne says:

    Delighted that you are through your surgery. Hope you are improving daily….Interesting perspective.. Sending you and all you love best wishes
    Helena & Derek x

    • Hazel says:

      Ahhh, how lovely of you, Helena. Thank you so much. Now recuperating with strict instructions to ‘do nothing’. Lots of good memories of Canada to keep me positive. Take great care of yourself. X

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