Hazel McHaffie

Reflections on 2010

Ahah! My last blog for 2010. And inevitably one looks back over the year.

The most stressful event?
The decline and death of my mother. I’ve missed her very much over this Christmas period in countless little ways. But I’ve also been more acutely aware of what a wonderfully supportive family I have. Bless them all.

The most surprising?
Recognising the necessity to relinquish some commitments for the sake of my health – and DJ’s sanity! – and what’s more, actually finally doing so. Although one relinquishment in particular caused me considerable sadness: the Institute of Medical Ethics. A fantastic committee to work with, and an organisation that has been so nourishing and encouraging of me for many, many years.

The most challenging?
Two events jointly share the award: judging the Institute of Ideas debates; and being a member of a Data Monitoring Committee for a major international clinical trial. Both forced me well outside my comfort zone and underlined my limitations. These are places I won’t be going again – there, it’s written in stone!

The most unexpected?
Not finishing a book I started. That’s a first. The book was The Inheritance of Loss by Kiran Desai and I just had to abandon it. OK, it won the Booker prize but I’m afraid life’s too short for a novel that’s that much of a struggle for me now. (Hmmm. Looks like my obsessions are starting to fray at the edges!)

The most encouraging?
Meeting new people in relation to my novels. Because I write about medical ethical dilemmas, I come into contact with families who’ve lived through similar experiences in real life. This year most notably, heroic folk caring for loved ones with Alzheimer’s, and those who have donated organs for transplantation – their own or those of their loved ones. And I am constantly awed and humbled by their generosity in sharing their stories. They remind me all over again why I took this turn in my career. And they encourage me to keep writing. I salute them all.

The most therapeutic?
The ongoing unconditional love of my four fabulous grandchildren.

And speaking of them, quite a number of you have written asking what I did for them in this year’s Christmas story. If you’re a new visitor, I should explain, every year I write a story for the children (currently aged 10 to 5), I make costumes and scenery, etc, and they act it out (totally unrehearsed). DJ takes photos throughout which we use to illustrate the book produced soon afterwards.

So, here’s ‘the stage’ for this year’s production …The scene is set And (with kind permission from parents) the principal characters: The Bag Lady ..The Bag Lady… and the supporting cast: three Shadow People (street children) …The Shadow PeopleInside The Bag Lady’s 40+ bags are all sorts of props and games and edibles. And, through playing and talking together they each discover the real person behind the stigma. And learn the importance of treating everyone kindly, and as you would like them to treat you. But it’s all sweetened with magic jelly babies … and talking dragonflies … and monitors that measure sportsmanlike qualities … and a little sleight of hand … and some rather scary Gurgling Gozers that sink their teeth into carotid arteries under provocation … and a crazy but lovable dog called Digby … the usual kinds of story-telling tricks. And of course, the now traditional banquet.The banquetAll good wholesome fun. So thanks for asking.

But before I get back to editing the book, The Bag Lady and the Shadow People, (don’t forget you heard about it first here on VelvetEthics!) it’s time to say a big thank you to YOU for reading my scribblings. The weekly blog can feel rather self-indulgent, I so much enjoy writing it. And then you tell me you’ve been moved or amused or challenged by something and I get a warm feeling knowing you’re sharing my musings and struggles.

I do sincerely wish you all peace and happiness in 2011. And a softening of the hurt if you are one of those for whom 2010 has been a tough year.

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4 Responses to “Reflections on 2010”

  • Clare says:

    Thank you for sharing your family Christmas story – it sounds enthralling.

    Thank you also for sharing so much of yourself in your blog. I can’t actually remember how I came upon it but I am so glad that I did because I have been humbled to share the experiences of yourself and those you have encountered in the past few months.

    Sometimes the world seems a huge impersonal place – then you happen on a blog like this and realise you share it with other mortals facing the same issues and dilemmas and it feels like a smaller, more supportive place.

    I hope 2011 is a healthy and happy year for you and yours. x

  • Lily R. Crawford says:

    Hazel what a lovely thing to do for your grandchildren – this is something they will remember all their lives . Grandchildren are one of the greatest blessings we have and it is always a pleasure and a priviledge to spend time with them – I too am a besotted grandmother and why not ? !
    I too have decided life is too short to persevere with a novel which is a struggle to read – glad to hear I am not alone .
    Please continue the blogs – I do so enjoy your thoughts .
    Wishing you a very happy and healthy 2011 .

    • Hazel says:

      Indeed they are a blessing, Lily. When we became grandparents people trotted out the usual stuff about the benefits of being able to hand them back. My experience is that the joy is in the enormously privileged relationship they have with you. Priceless and unique. Hazel

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